How's this for the cosmos kicking the shit out of you?

Today Vader was not doing so great. His gums and tongue were white instead of pink which was a concern. Hubby ran his bloods again and his red cell count was worse than it was 2 days ago. It probably means he's bleeding internally somewhere even though his x-rays and ultrasounds were okay on Tuesday. So we picked up and drove up to Saskatoon to take him to the emergency clinic at the vet college there. They don't think that it'll be an easy fix. They were giving him a blood transfusion when we left. They figure he probably has more tumours in his abdomen, but he's not a good candidate for exploratory surgery at this point. We'll know more tomorrow.
Here's the kicker...we leave for our cruise/Mexico vacation tomorrow morning at 6:40. We'll be deciding his fate over the phone in another frickin province or possibly country. We had to say goodbye to him tonight just in case it's bad and they euthanize him.
I've never been so emotionally drained in my life. I don't think I've ever cried so much.

This f**cking sucks.